How can one select funeral songs that truly celebrate the essence of a loved one’s life while providing comfort to attendees?

Now, i know it sounds goofy or dumb or just like a bad idea ,but hear me out .

We all know that some people are very proper in public and are devoid of public emotional displays. So they will bottle up that emotion . Sorta like going to someone’s mom” s funeral and they seem to be comforting others more than the opposite way around , because they are so composed .

I also attended a funeral that was more traditional to my family and this more than the other gave me the brilliant concept of a funeral band .

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Then things began to spiral out ofcontrol .

So ,as is a normal everyday occurence here, we turned up the music and told him the go inside we were “ having a fuckin’ funeral, go yo ass inside “. Things began spiralling faster. .one of the main participants in the fight , the son in law decides to be dj a little while and decides that“ iron man “by black sabbath is “ just a song “ .so somehow in my attemot to calm him down and get him away from the music equipment ,he and i and about 4 others were standing behind the building smoking a joint . Not out of sight , but not advertising . It could still be smelled by everyone and it was not really frowned upon . Apoarantly , I was not he only one there who took offence to heavy metal played at a funeral . His youngerst thought it appropriate to play master P which by the time we had a nice talk( and joint ) to calm the son in law down, morphed into a booty popping contest

So at my dads cousin's funeral this was the case . My dads family are all heavy drinkers ,thusly so were his cousins and their kids . So at the dinner things began like any funeral dinner but the party afterwards had become a lil more loud than the usual bayou family funeral .

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In our community ,like most around here , we mourn the passing by holding a wake for 1 or 2 nights before the burial . Also like most, we hold a big dinner for the deceased . Sometimes the question is not “ how did he die ? “ or “ did he suffer ? “ the quesrion and or response ( because its already known before the formal arrangements are made) is “where y’all gonna make the dinner ?“. Some have even rented halls outside of the church and funeral home .

I think a funeral band is a good idea. Anyhow to your question . - the old rugged cross, amazing grace, He walks with me, bridge over troubled water, blue eyes crying in the rain and depending on age or preference -dancing in the sky , whiskey lullaby, hard to say good bye ( Boys ll men) tears in heaven ( eric clapton ). Just ti name a few . Im sorry the answer was so long ,i was tryna add a lil levity to a serious question at what might not be a good time for you in your life right now.

That way he doesn't have to go and tell the story 100 times and you arent stuck in a corner with uncle Fred saying “ yep, your dad was a good man , did i ever tell you about the time ….”

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It would keep the funeral/ party celebritory , but respectful . It would let everyone just pull down the guards they put up and cry it out because tears are theraputic .

A funeral band .

Well , its not really the best idea to just keep that in . I know maybe they've probably been crying for the few previous days and one wonders if theyre beginning to move on already .

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Of course they arent . This is the biggest part of life for most of your life and now theyre gone .

I'm glad you asked this ,but since no one else i know seems to think its a good idea , ill share it here .

Has anyine been over a parent’s death in a few days?Never ,if they loved them and a lot, lot longer if they lost them tragically before their time . Sometimes , it takes years before ust the thought of that parent doesn't cause them to tear up.

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. I wish i could tell you how things turned out but i had to draw the line . Beer , whiskey , weed , iron maiden , booty popping , i had eniugh . I had to work the next day.

I think its beautiful . People get to together to support the family and mourn the passing but also celebrate the life of the deceased .

Now , for an aunt of mine there was music in the church , almost . I realy ,really used to like Whiskey Lullabye by Brad Paisley and a female country singer ,who im sorry i forget because i couldn't imagine anyone doing it any better than she does. But it was played about 30x in a row . Its a beautiful song but i think you could pop me in the face with a stack of hunded dollars bills but after about 25 times it gets old .

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This is where it gets hairy . In our celebrations some times some of us become a lil too festive ,while others will bring up some things in the past that mght start a fight , some have things theyd like to say that they couldnt at the wake or burial , sort of an impromptu eulogy, ,some have stories and some just get too plain drink and wanna fight .

The funeral band can control whats being played so things dont get out of control . They would play a mixture of some of the deceased favorites , ( within reason) some hynals and some real tear jerkers that evegyone knows

The daughter of the deceased got into an argument with a cousin ,they had just begun drinking . Following the melee, as things began to calm down , The neighbor , came outside and began to complain about traffic blocking his driveway and the noise .

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The role of a funeral band wiuld be to quell the fighting . To properly address any noise complaunts , allow those who want to say sonething about the deceased a couple minutes with a time limit and a microphone do everyone can hear the story